Role Models by John Waters

I like John Waters a lot. That is to say, I like him in the same way I like Werner Herzog. I have only a passing familiarity with his films, and I don't have an incredibly strong opinion on them (I mean, I LIKED Fitzcarraldo, but am I going to watch Fitzcarraldo again? Girl, please). As a PERSON, though, I love John Waters. He's an icon of subversiveness, yet he comes across as warm and likable. He can explain weird things in such a way that they seem normal, and vice versa. Most importantly, this guy is NOT ASHAMED of the things he likes. He puts it all out there in his book Role Models, which I seriously think has the best cover of any book I've ever seen in my life.

Listen, I'm saying this because I love you. If you're anything like me (and if you're reading this, you're probably a little like me), you're going to love this book. Drop whatever you're doing now and go get your grubby little hands on it. Actually, make sure you get the audio book. It's read by John himself and it is a real treat to hear him say things like, "I'm sorry, but I like Alvin and the Chipmunks more than the Beatles." Right now I am listening to the essay on Leslie Van Houten and it is blow-your-mind good. I may have made myself a promise not to watch anymore movies about cults (because of the terrible, disturbing nightmares I was having, and because I am one of the few people under 70 who really fears cults and thinks about them almost every day), but I didn't make any rules about reading books by iconic directors wherein one of the essays is about a member of the most notorious cult. Read this now!

Shortcomings - Adrian Tomine

First things first: I love Adrian Tomine. When H. and I visited Lauren in New York, I bought his bag at The Strand. This one!

I've loved him since high school, when all I knew of him was his comic in The Best American Non-Required Reading 2002. Yes, 2002. I didn't realize how long ago that was until I typed it out. Anyway, believe it or not, in 2002 the internet basically didn't exist for me. You're all, "The internet totally existed!" and, okay, yeah, TECHNICALLY it did. But in Winfrey-land, all we had was dial-up, and I'm pretty sure I didn't know how to buy books online.
Now that I'm living in the future, I was able to check out Shortcomings from H's public library, because now lots of libraries have large Graphic Novel sections. For some reason, I decided to read Shortcoming at 3 a.m. last night/this morning. I don't understand the things I do, either. It left me in a profoundly Disturbed Emotional State wherein I became convinced that my life was absolutely terrible. To be fair, there are some obvious flaws in my life, but overall things are not going that badly. Try telling this to 3 a.m. me, though. I actually couldn't get back to sleep. Do you know how often I have trouble sleeping? Never! That's how often!
Shortcomings is the story of a ceaselessly negative, depressed, and depressING young-ish man and the outright dickishness he inflicts on all the women in his life. It's also about being Asian. The best character was by far his lesbian Korean best friend (after reading this book, I feel like I'm missing a lesbian Korean best friend). Even though the main character is male, and even though he basically mistreats and uses every female in his life (especially his long-suffering girlfriend...the scenes between them at the beginning made me cringe), this book doesn't seem misogynistic. On paper, it sounds like something I would hate, but I really loved it. Read it! Just not at three in the morning.

Skinny Bitch

I decided to use this blog as my book log. Lucky you, internet! In order to gain your trust, I've decided to make a confession: I read Skinny Bitch.
As you might know, I don't believe in the concept of "Guilty Pleasures." If you like something, own it! "You like what you like.-" Papa Winfrey. But I actually do feel a little guilty about how much I like diet and nutrition books. They definitely don't add anything to my life, and I don't even believe in diets! At all! I think we should all eat lots of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, but every once in awhile maybe have 2 donuts in one day (that might have happened today)! I read Skinny Bitch on my Kindle because I was ashamed. Here is a summary of what I read:

"Hey, stupid fatty. Why are you eating so much shit? If you eat shit, you are shit, and you are DEFINITELY shit. Stop drinking alcohol and coffee, no smoking, no meat, no eggs, no dairy, no refined flour or sugar. You should just eat fruit for breakfast and salad for lunch, but also here is a list of processed, name-brand organic vegan foods you can eat. Also, you're stupid, ugly and fat. And you have cellulite. And a big ass."

That's the book. Also the entire middle section is about the cruelty of the meat and dairy industry, which is like duh, but also is like, I thought this was a diet book. Then the last chapter is like, "We were just kidding! We really love you and don't care if you're skinny, we just want you to be happy! And also be vegan." Um, too late, dummies. You spent the entire book insulting women and trying to shame them into becoming vegan. Also, there is a chapter on FASTING. Fucking FASTING. The authors write how you'll feel so "clean" and "light" and "pure" and WHAT? You ladies are enabling anorexics!

You should read this book if you want to feel bad about yourself. Even I started to feel terrible about myself, and while I have a lot of insecurities, my body isn't usually one of them.