Role Models by John Waters

I like John Waters a lot. That is to say, I like him in the same way I like Werner Herzog. I have only a passing familiarity with his films, and I don't have an incredibly strong opinion on them (I mean, I LIKED Fitzcarraldo, but am I going to watch Fitzcarraldo again? Girl, please). As a PERSON, though, I love John Waters. He's an icon of subversiveness, yet he comes across as warm and likable. He can explain weird things in such a way that they seem normal, and vice versa. Most importantly, this guy is NOT ASHAMED of the things he likes. He puts it all out there in his book Role Models, which I seriously think has the best cover of any book I've ever seen in my life.

Listen, I'm saying this because I love you. If you're anything like me (and if you're reading this, you're probably a little like me), you're going to love this book. Drop whatever you're doing now and go get your grubby little hands on it. Actually, make sure you get the audio book. It's read by John himself and it is a real treat to hear him say things like, "I'm sorry, but I like Alvin and the Chipmunks more than the Beatles." Right now I am listening to the essay on Leslie Van Houten and it is blow-your-mind good. I may have made myself a promise not to watch anymore movies about cults (because of the terrible, disturbing nightmares I was having, and because I am one of the few people under 70 who really fears cults and thinks about them almost every day), but I didn't make any rules about reading books by iconic directors wherein one of the essays is about a member of the most notorious cult. Read this now!

Shortcomings - Adrian Tomine

First things first: I love Adrian Tomine. When H. and I visited Lauren in New York, I bought his bag at The Strand. This one!

I've loved him since high school, when all I knew of him was his comic in The Best American Non-Required Reading 2002. Yes, 2002. I didn't realize how long ago that was until I typed it out. Anyway, believe it or not, in 2002 the internet basically didn't exist for me. You're all, "The internet totally existed!" and, okay, yeah, TECHNICALLY it did. But in Winfrey-land, all we had was dial-up, and I'm pretty sure I didn't know how to buy books online.
Now that I'm living in the future, I was able to check out Shortcomings from H's public library, because now lots of libraries have large Graphic Novel sections. For some reason, I decided to read Shortcoming at 3 a.m. last night/this morning. I don't understand the things I do, either. It left me in a profoundly Disturbed Emotional State wherein I became convinced that my life was absolutely terrible. To be fair, there are some obvious flaws in my life, but overall things are not going that badly. Try telling this to 3 a.m. me, though. I actually couldn't get back to sleep. Do you know how often I have trouble sleeping? Never! That's how often!
Shortcomings is the story of a ceaselessly negative, depressed, and depressING young-ish man and the outright dickishness he inflicts on all the women in his life. It's also about being Asian. The best character was by far his lesbian Korean best friend (after reading this book, I feel like I'm missing a lesbian Korean best friend). Even though the main character is male, and even though he basically mistreats and uses every female in his life (especially his long-suffering girlfriend...the scenes between them at the beginning made me cringe), this book doesn't seem misogynistic. On paper, it sounds like something I would hate, but I really loved it. Read it! Just not at three in the morning.

Skinny Bitch

I decided to use this blog as my book log. Lucky you, internet! In order to gain your trust, I've decided to make a confession: I read Skinny Bitch.
As you might know, I don't believe in the concept of "Guilty Pleasures." If you like something, own it! "You like what you like.-" Papa Winfrey. But I actually do feel a little guilty about how much I like diet and nutrition books. They definitely don't add anything to my life, and I don't even believe in diets! At all! I think we should all eat lots of fruits, vegetables, and whole grains, but every once in awhile maybe have 2 donuts in one day (that might have happened today)! I read Skinny Bitch on my Kindle because I was ashamed. Here is a summary of what I read:

"Hey, stupid fatty. Why are you eating so much shit? If you eat shit, you are shit, and you are DEFINITELY shit. Stop drinking alcohol and coffee, no smoking, no meat, no eggs, no dairy, no refined flour or sugar. You should just eat fruit for breakfast and salad for lunch, but also here is a list of processed, name-brand organic vegan foods you can eat. Also, you're stupid, ugly and fat. And you have cellulite. And a big ass."

That's the book. Also the entire middle section is about the cruelty of the meat and dairy industry, which is like duh, but also is like, I thought this was a diet book. Then the last chapter is like, "We were just kidding! We really love you and don't care if you're skinny, we just want you to be happy! And also be vegan." Um, too late, dummies. You spent the entire book insulting women and trying to shame them into becoming vegan. Also, there is a chapter on FASTING. Fucking FASTING. The authors write how you'll feel so "clean" and "light" and "pure" and WHAT? You ladies are enabling anorexics!

You should read this book if you want to feel bad about yourself. Even I started to feel terrible about myself, and while I have a lot of insecurities, my body isn't usually one of them.

The Second Book I Read on My Kindle

I don't know why it took me so long to read Never Let Me Go. Don't make the same mistake I did. This book will break your heart. Just looking at this poster for the movie (out on DVD soon!) makes me want to cry.

Do you like reading about complicated girl friendships? How about boarding schools? Or maybe adolescent relationships? Those are all of my favorite topics, and they are all here, along with some SCIENCE FICTION. That's right, I read science fiction. Okay, that's a lie. Actually I read science fiction in only three circumstances:
1. My boyfriend recommends something.
2. Book club pick.
3. It's not really science fiction.
While there are definitely science fiction elements to this book (in case you don't know anything at all about it, I will refrain from ruining anything for you. The less you know, the better the book will be), and while the plot hinges around a particularly ominous vision of a world not so different from our own, this book is much more about personal relationships. I should warn you that at first this book doesn't seem so sad. Just watch out! At the end, I felt like the emotional force of the book had snuck up behind me and clubbed me on the head.
It also must be noted that Carey Mulligan plays the lead in the film. Beautiful!

Operation Read This

The Winter Blues are some kind of bitch. Don't get me wrong, I'm not comparing my seasonal depression to REAL depression. It is not that bad. But it would still be nice if I didn't feel like staying in bed 3+ months out of the year, just watching a marathon of Northern Exposure. I should make a post about Northern Exposure, but right now I'm actually going to talk about a book, since that's kind of the point of this thing. Who wants some more run-on sentences?
Every year, when I'm setting up my New Year's Goals, I set a Reading Goal. Usually it's 50 books, a goal I actually didn't quite meet last year because I got lazy. This year I plan on actually making it, and I read my first book of the year on New Year's Day: How to Breathe Underwater by Julie Orringer.

Amazon says LOOK INSIDE! I say just buy the book, because it's worth it. I read a lot of great books last year, but too many of them were about men. While that's just fine, I start to feel weird if I don't read any books by women for awhile. Enter Julie Orringer: her stories are for and about women. Seriously...ALL of the stories have interesting female characters, most of whom are young teenagers. Clearly young teenage girls are the most interesting subjects to read and write about. These stories deal with cancer, uncomfortable sexual situations, the weirdly passionate friendship dynamic between young girls (my favorite thing to read about), bullying (there are SO MANY straight up bitches in these stories!), and all sorts of awesome lady stuff. One story made me burst into silent sobs while my boyfriend played video games, and when he turned around to see my face streaked with the remains of my Lash Stiletto mascara he freaked out. True and unattractive story!
I can't recommend this book highly enough. Read it!

Unputdownable.

A few months ago, H. and I grabbed lunch at Tommy's in Cleveland. In case you were wondering, I do remember exactly what we got. H had a burger and I had a baba ganoush/falafel pita. FOOD BLOG! But that's not the point...the point is, Tommy's is attached to a little book store, where I found this book:

I picked it up because of the cover, then found out it was a children's book, then convinced H to buy it for me anyway. I just read it this week and I can't recommend it highly enough! It is meant for kids, so if you have a problem with that...then I don't know, you shouldn't be reading this blog. It was completely engaging from beginning to end, and I can't remember the last time I've been so involved in a book. It's surprisingly dark and even a little scary (but I'm very easily frightened). I'm reading the second one now!

Sewing!

The reason for my lack of posting (besides the fact that no one reads this, obvs) is that my life has been taken over by a new obsession: sewing. Basically, much like J.C. Chasez, my life's motto is now ADIDAS, except for me the 'S' stands for sewing (I find that when writing a new blog post after a long while, it's always a good idea to make a reference to a solo album by a former member of N'Sync. It really draws people in!). I really don't want to do anything else but sew lately. Maybe some crocheting, but that's about it.
I've tried many, many other times to learn to sew, but it's never "clicked" for me. For some reason, this time I was serious about it and I've been learning the basics in a slow, methodical way. I started with an apron about a month ago:

Seemingly easy; just a rectangle, right? Well, no! For me, the biggest hurdle (and the reason I could never get into sewing before) was just learning about the machine. Sewing machines can be daunting; they're expensive, heavy, and confusing. It took me an embarrassingly long time just to learn how to wind the bobbin. Even after you learn how to set the machine up, there's the matter of decoding commercial sewing patterns. You'd think they'd be simple, but if you have no idea where to begin, it's like they're written in a different language. I would've given up if I hadn't had my mom around to explain what "baste," "gather," and "blind stitch" meant.
Before I sat down at the machine this go-round, I told myself that this was it. Now or never. I was going to conquer this thing, no ifs, ands, or pouting. My mom walked me through the machine's basic functions and then scurried off to garden or bake a commissioned cake or something. I painstakingly stiched white bias tape onto a pocket. The fabric kept slipping and it was so difficult, but I told myself I couldn't give up. I had to keep doing this even if it killed me, and I was starting to think that it might.
After a tedious hour and a half, my mom came inside and told me I didn't have the presser foot down, which was why my fabric wouldn't stay put. I didn't even know what a presser foot was. Needless to say, I've come a long way in a month.
What I love most about sewing is the deep feeling of connection it gives me not just to the women in my family, but to women throughout history. One of my biggest annoyances in life is people who persist on labeling sewing, knitting, crocheting, or any type of needlework as "anti-feminist" or in some way a step backwards. Debbie Stoller (editor of Bust) effectively counters this in the introduction to her excellent knitting book Stitch 'n Bitch. She explains that domestic arts like embroidery were often the only way stifled women had of expressing themselves; playing with color and pattern were outlets for creativity, not always a necessary chore. In addition to this, she points out that knitting is often looked down upon precisely because it's primarily a hobby for females. Traditional "men's" hobbies (like, for example, fishing) don't have the same stigma. The fact is, many women enjoy these hobbies. We don't need to look at them as trivial ways to pass the time or as a way we allow ourselves to be subjugated. I'm certainly feeling much more powerful just knowing that I'll be able to make several new pieces of clothing.
Here are some of the other things I've made. Definitely nothing spectacular yet, but I'm trying to progress at a natural pace and not attempt anything too difficult before I'm ready. I know how stubborn and easily frustrated I am, and I don't want to burn out.
I made curtains to replace the ugly, dark green lace valances that came with the apartment. I just wish I'd done this sooner.

Also I made this turtle out of a pattern my mom had from the 1970s. I appreciate the attention to anatomical detail.

Last week I completed a pair of PJ pants that I haven't photographed yet, and I'm currently working on a skirt and a quilt (actually, I've been working on this quilt since the SECOND GRADE. Um...yeah). On deck are curtains for my bedroom, another pair of PJ pants, drafting a pattern for PJ shorts, and a really lovely blouse.